Imagine you are going back to your high school and giving the students a speech about life, academics, success, hardship, identity and/or the pursuit of happiness. What would you tell them?
Adulthood; such a daunting thought. It’s an inevitable part of life, and for many people a place where they’re trying to sprint towards as fast as they can. Can you imagine finally not having a curfew, eating what you want to eat, or being with friends all day? You now have the power to be seen as an adult in the world’s eyes, and you can choose what to make of this privilege that has been given to you. College looms just around the corner, and I know I felt a mix of anxiety and anticipation at taking this next step of life. College means more than just receiving an education; it’s about getting more attuned to yourself and transforming into the person you’ve always wanted to be. It can be lonely at times, and I can guarantee that this bend in your journey through life can be the hardest hurdle you’ve ever faced. No longer will someone be there to constantly nag you to do this, do that. No longer can you unconditionally turn to that support system you’ve built up for years while growing up. It’s your time to step up and take that first step into carving a path you will make for yourself. I’m not trying to scare any of you, but I’ve always wished someone had told me that I should steel myself for this part of my life.
College doesn’t have to be a miserable experience. But it is inevitable that you’ll find yourself completely lost and without purpose at least once. Whether it’s because you got lost on the first day of class, or forced to reassess your life because you realized you hate the field you intended to go into, these experiences help you develop into someone you’re proud to be. High school doesn’t prepare you for the expectations that are set upon you once you go to college. But, it’s all about attitude and creating your own support system to get you by. I can speak from personal experience that it can take a lot longer than you expected to realize that growth is necessary to become successful in life.
I remember like it’s yesterday when I was sitting in your place, getting jittery to get that diploma in my hands. I remember sitting through the speeches thinking “when is this speaker going to end?” I remember I was so excited to “grow up” and go off into the “real world” once I graduated high school. The very thought of living on my own away from the influence of my parents was enough to get my excited about college. I grew up going to very diverse schools where I was actually part of the minority. I found myself more comfortable in a group where everyone was from everywhere and diversity was just a part of life rather than something to strive for. However, once I got to college I became just one of the thousands of ambitious freshman in the biggest class in history since UCLA’s beginning. I wasn’t doing well in my classes and although I was very active in high school, I wasn’t participating in any organizations or clubs during my first year in college. I kept giving myself excuses; “transitioning to college is always hard ,” “no one ever gets amazing grades first quarter,” “first year is always the hardest,” until eventually that’s all I was ever doing: giving excuses. I was starting to sell myself short, and settling to blaming external factors for the fact that I was so unsatisfied with myself. I just accepted the fact that I was just another “average” student that wasn’t good enough to fulfill any of the dreams I once had in high school. My apathetic attitude towards my education spread like a cancer to every thought I had until my whole outlook of my future, my self-confidence, my own strengths spiraled around one thought: I wasn’t good enough. I hadn’t even realized how far down I’ve gone on this road of self-deprecating thoughts and unhappiness until the summer after my second year. That summer was a turning point of my path of self-discovery. I had literally forgotten the person who I used to be; happy, ambitious, goal driven, and now I was so lost and confused that I felt that there was no possible way for the fog to lift. Then, I had the opportunity to get involved at a department on campus called the Community Programs Office. I applied for an internship there even though I was wary of change and unfamiliar places, but I figured I had nothing to lose and nothing to occupy my time during summer school. This one pivotal choice that in my eyes at the time was full of risk and unconventional started a chain of events that changed my entire college experience.
For once, there were people that I felt that really understood the struggles I was going through. I was so used to feeling like the bottom of every possible list that I hadn’t realized that there were others that felt just like me. This departments’ whole purpose of existence was to help students holistically rather than just focusing on academics. I started to face my own inner demons and trying to overcome them by challenging myself to push beyond my limits. Limits. Limits are a funny thing. They seem so concrete and unmoving, yet with just one choice, one small step outside the beaten path you can begin to see the webbed cracks on the supposed boundaries you’ve set on yourself. Taking that first step into becoming active in spaces outside academics, I began to rebuild my self-confidence and assurance that I WAS worthy. I was pushed in aspects of myself that I had no idea needed help. Professional skills, communication, leadership; all of these qualities were addressed. Over the past year, I’ve seen myself grow exponentially since that pivotal choice I made last summer. This one snippet of time when I decided to just skrew the unhappiness and the confusion going on my life and just GOING for it was the best thing I could have ever done for myself. It was like the world had just tilted just a tad, and now the preconceived notions I had for myself were actually not as true or final as I thought they were. For me, my first two years of college was spent closely staring at one brick of a supposed enormous wall of obstacles and hopelessness. But after taking that first risk, that first step to the side, I realized that the wall wasn’t as unstoppable as I first thought. One shift in perspective can change your whole view of the world and of yourself.
So what’s the point of my long spheal of my college experience? Take the risk. If an opportunity presents itself to you, just go for it! You have so much more to lose by not giving yourself the chance to push yourself to indulge in a new experience. Growth can come in waves if you just make that first dip into new waters. Your life has barely begun, and adulthood is just another step in your journey of self-discovery. Your age may state that you are now an adult, but you will never truly be mature without taking risks. Once you take that first reckless step, more opportunities will open up and in the words taken from my favorite book series Harry Potter, “You sort of start thinking anything’s possible if you’ve got enough nerve.”
Now graduates of ________ High School, I leave you with this question. What would you do if you were at a crossroads; one continuing along a beaten familiar path that you might not necessarily be happy with but you’ve been walking down for a while now, and the other that has sprung up before you for a split second. While it’s full of uncertainty and the promises aren’t guaranteed, would you go for it? The answer may seem simple now, but actually facing this decision is a daunting task. Just remember that challenges shouldn’t be taken negatively. How would you ever know if an opportunity for growth awaits for you in a seemingly simple decision unless you take that first step by committing? So, live life pushing your limits, growing, and blossoming into the adult you’ve always wanted to be.
Written by Lauren

hen you close your eyes and think about your future life what do you imagine? Have you completed your education? Do you have the career you always wanted? Are you happy with your life? Do you like the person you have become? These are questions that can be only be answered through a careful reflection of the self in something I like to call “the life quest of self-discovery”. As corny and cliché as this may sound to you now, discovering who you really are and what you truly want out of life is the eternal struggle that all of us go through at some point in time, and it is the key to our individual successes.
I come from a small, somewhat isolated town. When I was in high school, I was closeted, sheltered, and, in many senses, pre-conscious to where I am in life now. My outlet in those days was storytelling, which become a way of connecting to others and re-envisioning my life as it might be — stories became a place of exchange and representation, as well as realization of myself and others through the liberating lens of ‘fiction.’ Long before I came out, I wrote stories about queer individuals, displaying my own internal (and somewhat unconscious) concept of self, as opposed to the very bland one my overlarge Old Navy jackets, bursting backpack, and quantum physics-related shirts broadcasted (although these certainly told a part of my personality). At the same time, working for my school newspaper, I began talking to people in my school’s community whom I likely would never have come into contact with ordinarily in my AP classes or extracurriculars — people whose appearance very simply stated “jock,” “gangster,” “cheerleader,” and many other of the cliched labels that abound in high school. In talking to them in an interview format — in which they were encouraged to share their own stories — I came to learn things about them that I never would have if I had simply judged them by appearance or talked to them in a more social situation. This is about when I learned that everyone has something interesting about them, some interesting experience or story to tell, and, thus, incredible value.

Finals. As college student’s finals are the bane of our existence (next to student fees) but unfortunately they are unavoidable obstacles. With the end of Winter Quarter on the horizon there is one universal thing is on all of our minds…SPRING BREAK! Spring Break is the pinnacle of being a college student. It’s the time when we take fun-filled trips to places like Miami and Cancun with our friends and just have a good time. Or in my case, the time when you catch up on much needed sleep.
Angels In America (by Tony Kushner) is one of the most important plays of the 20th century, dealing with one of the most important (ongoing) tragedies of our time — the AIDS crisis. Importantly, this is a play which envisions a world in which individuals are aligned not on axes of family history, class, ethnicity, etc. but rather upon the conditions of empathy and the commonality of immediate human experience. Reagan (suffering from Alzheimer’s) becomes level with an out gay man with AIDS, a woman suffering delirium, and a closeted power lawyer also suffering from AIDS. Particularly interesting of the play’s vision of community is the possibility of divisive differences being subsumed by issues we’re suffering in the immediate present. If we continue to identify with exclusive labels (our religion, our race, our geographic origin) how can we ever merge into a human community? America, then, is the “melting pot where nothing melted.”