Death is an odd thing that changes people. Whether it is impending, intentional, or accidental, there is no going back once you are affected.
Now there are two reasons I wanted to share this video.
1. Last Friday, Michelle posted a video exploring grief and I spent this week thinking about all the different subtopics that come along with pondering the general idea of death. (Watch the video and read what she has to say here.)
2. Soul Pancake, a Youtube channel that aims to help you “figure out what it means to be human”, posted a video on Zach Sobiech. (I will link it here.) That particular video is a one-year-later follow-up, to the one you can watch above, that documents life after Zach. You see, Zach had osteosarcoma and his story was heard by people all over the world when his hit-song “Clouds” made it to the top 5 chart on iTunes. (Here’s two versions of the song here and here.)
Someone showed me the first video last year and it came at an odd time for me. A couple months prior, I had lost a friend and to top it off, the anniversary of another friend’s death was coming up. The months I spent after the prior individual’s death were a blur and I was fantastic when it came to hiding how I was doing. The thing about grief is that it doesn’t go away though.
I can’t say I immediately reached out to people once I watched this video or that I felt better about life and death, but I do know this was the moment something clicked inside me. I knew I had to eventually spend time looking more into myself and my feelings about losing these friends because my longing to deny the mourning process was inadvertently affecting every other aspect of my life.
To this day I find it difficult (read as “nearly impossible”) to talk about these situations without keeping my tone casual; I keep these conversations light and cool because it’s easier. But at least I’m easing my way in.
Right now I know that I am falling back into that same pattern of denying my emotions because of additional friends’ deaths so I hope watching these videos will help once more. It’s difficult and admittedly downright frightening to explore this part of my life but I hope sharing it will help others in some way if they’ve gone through it as well.
Post submitted by Kelly