I Believe In…

I believe that love likes to hide in the nooks and cranies of the body where you sometimes tear yourself apart

again and again and again

like shredded paper that somehow magically pieces itself back together

Or love likes to hide in places you’ve never been before

such as a Carnival festival in Brazil

full of life, color, and rythm, this is what it means to be loose

such as the hole in the wall restaurant in deep East Oakland

crossed in between the memorial of teddy bears, candles, and balloons for the young man that got shot there and the mamis that push their children in the stroller with two bags of milk, cereal, and government cheese

such as the living room of the person sitting next you on the subway in NYC

I wonder what it feels like to smoke with you and talk about your parents

I believe that you can go a year without feeling anything

A gray heart, an empty hunger, and empty people

That means a storm is about to hit

I believe LA is weird as hell

This needs no explanation

I believe in my first love’s wife

In her pink lips, her big hips, her precious womb

Thank you for giving him what I couldn’t

I believe that God exists within all of us

Our insides are divine

And they shine bright

I believe that one day I’ll be reunited with my locked up cousin

His heart is too big to fit in a jail cell

His resilience has escaped

He is still in search of forgiveness

I believe in los perdidos y los desaperecidos

Ayotzinapa.

I think about y’all everyday.

I cry for y’all when I drink too much.

I believe in calling your family at least once a week.

I’m alive.

Somehow surviving.

I believe in the child that loses their mother tongue

Whether it’s been beat, cut, slapped out of them

You are not broken

Our language is not broken.

Our homes are not broken.

I believe in the phone line that keeps the family together in the U.S. and Mexico

Life lines that are in desperate need

I believe in La llorona

Myth or Fiction

She still cries out for her children

In a broken and torn up country

I believe in brown girl magic

En piel de canela

In brown eyes

In our different body types

I believe in forgiveness

Although it hides too well inside me

It’s a small lit candle waiting to shine brighter

Waiting to roll off my tongue

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