The Gym Diaries

  1. Here I am, in the Land of the Fit!
  2. Oh gosh. My entire gym outfit is color-coordinated. So much teal. I look over-prepared.
  3. Smells like calories are burning in the air.
  4. I think I know how to position this spinning bike…
  5. Time to put some Beyoncé on Spotify!
  6. Wow. This song is sexual. Lowering the volume…
  7. Maybe I’ll just skip this track.
  8. I’m not tired. I’m not.
  9. Let’s just get through one more song. Cardio! Cardio! Cardio!
  10. Maybe I’ll have a quesadilla when I get home.
  11. Ab time!
  12. Do I have a six pack yet?
  13. Perhaps the quesadilla is a bad idea.
  14. My abs are like the wind…
  15. Can’t see them. But I can feel them.
  16. Spotify ads totally interrupt my groove. I. Don’t. Want. Premium.
  17. I think I’ve scrunched up my innards enough for one day.
  18. Time to get arms like Michelle Obama! Which means…
  19. I have to walk into the weight room.
  20. Ugh.
  21. What is this? The casting call for Thunder Down Under?
  22. Just find a weight and get out—go, go, go.
  23. That dude’s arm is bigger than my thigh. And I have a substantial thigh.
  24. My ten-pound weight looks like a Q-tip next to these other ones.
  25. Let’s pump some iron…in the other room…far away…
  26. Michelle Obama. Michelle Obama.
  27. I feel stronger already! I can lift a car!
  28. Oh look, someone from my English class, heading towards the rowing machine.
  29. Don’t make eye contact. Don’t make eye contact. Don’t—
  30. Awkward.
  31. This girl doing squats next to me is Instagram Fitness Guru status.
  32. It’s like she was born in a pair of Lululemon yoga pants.
  33. I wonder if she eats those fancy flatbread pizzas and lots of avocados.
  34. Cramp or hunger?
  35. Time to do the stretches that I learned in high school physical education. And poses from my brief stint with yoga.
  36. I just need to act like I know what I’m doing.
  37. Good job, me.
  38. I feel alive, actually. That’s why I do all of this.
  39. I think I’ve deserved that quesadilla.
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