A Letter to My 15 Year Old Self

Dear Pegah,

Sometimes

 

Actually, most of the time

I always think about how I used to act

As a teenager

In the middle

5 years away from being an adult

And 5 years since being a little girl

 

Immature, selfish, self-conscious

Fearful, small, malleable

 

But also

 

Curious, wide-eyed, naïve

Ambitious, valued, genuine

 

I see myself walk around school

With my head down

Eye cast down

Shoulders slumped

Back slightly hunched

 

But what was going in my mind

Was it’s own wonderland

Full of roses and rainbows

And all that gushy stuff

That would make me feel

Like a better me

 

Kind of like how I am now

Happy with myself, you can say

 

I like to walk

With a glare in my eye

Back straight as wood

Shoulders lifted

 

To show some sort of power

Of confidence

To tell everyone,

Hey, look at me

Don’t you all remember the old me

It’s crazy isn’t it?

How far I’ve come

 

I’m assertive now

I like to express feelings

Sadness, happiness, excitement

 

I’ll make sure as hell to tell you

If i’m not happy

Not satisfied

Not joyful

Or anything

 

Do you know why?

 

I find myself important.

 

But I now also  realize the value in people:

The credit doesn’t solely go to me

I wasn’t the only one

Who got myself to where I am now

 

The presence of my mother,

My father

My siblings

My friends

And colleagues

Shaped and molded

My malleability, my naiveté

Into a solid, hard cast

 

This cast being who I am now

That stands for what it believes in

These people

Are the ones who matter .

Be thankful for that

Sincerely,

Pegah

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s