It’s a Real One’s Birthdayyyyy

I’m 22 this week!!!! This past year has been incredibly surreal, and as I turned 22, I felt a familiar sense of gratitude that I haven’t sat in a while. One of my most prevalent coping mechanisms is avoidance, so in order to cope with the emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually taxing events of the past year, I chose to distance myself from the world. Sometimes coping mechanisms are good, and we need a distraction when the world feels like it’s crashing down. But like everything in life, too much of something can only be detrimental. In my avoidant efforts to protect myself from the world’s chaos, I forgot about the blessings that still existed in my life. I forgot that I was loved, deeply, by my friends and family, that I was protected and safe, that I still had some agency in my life despite everything feeling out of control. However, in my avoidance and isolation, I found myself– I’d been depressed and anxious for a while without knowing it. When I began to ground myself and reintroduce myself to reality, I realized the love that flowed through, from, and to me. I felt it most on my birthday, and honestly, I’m thankful for the avoidance because now I’m learning how to let my love flow cleaner and stronger.